The enneagram in love & work by Helen Palmer

Author:Helen Palmer
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Enneagram.
ISBN: 0062508083
Publisher: HarperSanFrancisco
Published: 1995-10-19T16:00:00+00:00

UNION

sexual

PARTICIPATION

social

APPETITE

self-survival

The Nine Bias

Worldview

The world won't value my efforts. Stay comfortable. Keepthe peace.

Spiritual Path

Babies "are" essence, in that their awareness is permeated bylove, or the unconditional pleasure of pure being. When personal-ity formed, attention turned to momentary comforts, and thechild became indolent or forgetful of the self-perpetuating plea-sure of essence. Sloth is an overaccommodation, a desire to re-main comfortable and undisturbed. It feels more comfortable togo along with others than to oppose them. Sloth is a failure to ini-tiate, to take right action toward the essential features of life. Nines

avoid conflict and merge with the agendas of others, which mim-ics the comfort of union with the environment and all beings.

Concerns

° Maintains the comfort of neutrality. Avoids anger and conflict.

0 Replaces essential needs with unessential substitutes.

° Ambivalent about personal decisions. "Do I agree or disagree?"Sees all sides of the question. Personal decisions are hard. Deci-sions are easy when not personally loaded, for example, emer-gency action or political opinions.

° Postpones loaded decisions by repeating a familiar solution. Actsthrough habit. "Seems like there's endless time. Why act now?"

° Inaction or sloth. Goes along with others. Follows the program.Finds it hard to initiate change. It's easier to know what youdon t want than what you do.

° Acts out sloth in three key areas of life:

union—the desire to merge in one-to-one relationships.

participation in social groups, organizations.

Affiliations.

appetite for material interests.

° Can yt say no. Finds it hard to separate, hard to be the one to go.

° Damps physical energy and anger. Diverts energy to trivia. Hasdelayed reaction time for anger. Passive aggression. Anger equalsseparation.

° Controls by going stubborn. Waits it out.

° Pays attention to other people's agendas, which leads to:° Difficulty in forming a personal position, but also develops:° The ability to recognize and support what is essential to otherpeople's lives.

Personality Bias

We all enter the Nine perspective when we feel inseparable.Boundaries go down. Someone else's life becomes the motive forour own. Once merged, it feels like one skin and a single being.We have energy for a partner's agenda. Their interests feel vital.

Their opinions seem valid. We feel enthusiastic about their life,which has become the focus of our own.

Nines felt overlooked in childhood. They blended in andlearned to merge with other people's lives. They shelved theirown agenda so they wouldn't be forgotten; it was either agree andlose a position or oppose and be left behind. A tension developsbetween wanting to comply so as to be loved and wanting to defy,to assert your independence. The question is, "Do I agree and goalong, or disagree and create conflict?" Agreement feels like giv-ing in, but it's hard to say no. You are merged with someone else'slife, and choice no longer matters. You can see the worth of theirposition more easily than your own.

Sloth means being lazy about life. You can see all sides of aquestion, which overwhelms your own agenda. Decisions are diffi-cult. Conflicting opinions appear to have equal merit. Attentioncycles from the central issue to secondary matters. You get side-tracked to chores and backlogs of unfinished business. Your energygets diverted from the essential task of the day.

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